“I remember walking in Trans Equality Day for Trans Pride in Istanbul last year. Even though the march was just 20 meters long, it was a win for our small community. Coming together even though the police were planning to detain us was a win. We have had so many wins, but there’s no time to celebrate them because of all the hardships we continue to suffer.

Following Trans Pride in 2023, we suffered an incredible backlash. The number of threats my friends faced on social media was unimaginable. Some of them couldn’t even walk on the streets or take the bus alone because they were targeted by some members of the public. We are always skirting the lines between being safe and unsafe. There is no middle ground, between safety and danger.

The same year, I participated in Istanbul Pride. Again, people were detained – including myself. I was very, very lucky. When the police detained me (two hours after Pride, when everyone was done, having coffee or beer, picnicking, and such), they targeted me, chased me and hit my head with their body armour, which led to me bleeding and needing stitches on my head.

At one point, they made me thank them for not using reverse clamps [handcuffing from behind, to make sure people cannot move when detained in the detainee bus), which is unlawful but practiced whenever a human rights activist gets detained.

Yet, I consider myself one of the lucky ones because I got out the day after. One person from the detainee bus was sent to the Removal Centre in the middle of summer with no AC, water, or food because they were not a Turkish citizen and the police thought they attended pride. Their reason? They looked ‘a bit queer’ in the police’s eyes, and now they cannot enter Türkiye again.

In Türkiye, LGBTI+ rights activism is considered in the same category as national security. We’re subjected to arbitrary house raids, detentions, fines, and arrests.

Growing up in Türkiye

My family always knew I was queer, but I finally found the courage to tell them after I started hormone therapy. I sent them a message saying, ‘Can we talk on the phone? It’s a very important and urgent issue.’ I think my message alarmed them. However, while coming out as a non-binary trans was shocking, it wasn’t the end of the world for them.

I was lucky and privileged that even though my family and friends did not understand what I was going through, they still supported me and felt comfortable enough to ask questions. Many of my friends cannot say the same. Instead, they face threats in their daily lives.   

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In my experience, many people in Turkey following and loving characters such as Bülent Ersoy [one of Türkiye’s best-known singers who transitioned to a woman in 1980) and Zeki Müren [a gay icon], meant you were accepted if you fit the ‘social norm’, but fetishized and rejected if you didn’t.

While people living abroad are somewhat aware of our situation – ‘Oh, I heard that your Prides are getting banned’ – that’s all they know – and that’s the least of my concerns. Many of us are suffering because of the current economic climate – as a trans person, it’s difficult to get a job or even stay in a government-run student housing. Our more immediate challenges are the day-to-day lack of access to our rights which form the bigger picture of being able to live.

Finding my passion

I always knew activism was a passion of mine. When I was younger, I was passionate about animal rights, but in 2013, everything clicked in my head with the Gezi Park Protests [police cleared Gezi Park of a small group of protestors opposed to its destruction, causing uproar across the country around the right to protest], and I understood that I had to use my knowledge of media and design for my activism.

I now volunteer with Lambdaistanbul, one of the oldest, still-standing LGBTI+ organizations in Türkiye. We run weekly events and workshops to tackle loneliness amongst LGBTI  people. What I love about being a Lambda volunteer is we can freely talk about intersectional issues, ask for more from the local community, and do more. No international organization or government funds our projects, so we can focus on what we want. It’s a local homegrown initiative catering to a local population.

I also participate support Trans Pride and Istanbul Pride. We need Trans Pride to connect, create safe places, and celebrate our existence in a climate that does none of these things. We need to see each other because even when we’re dead, we are still not given any respect or dignity. We cannot be buried in peace, and we can’t even claim our memories. In a state that gives us no room to breathe, we need to find alternatives. We were always here and always will be.

We are trapped in a vicious circle where every two weeks, a trans person gets lost, or murdered, or they took their own life. There are very few happy endings,

Can, activist, Türkiye

This year, we’ve not had a blanket ban on Pride in Istanbul, but we didn’t publish any information such as the date and time. Yet, the police still act like they are banning events and marches. They will come with fake papers that don’t even have the local district governorship’s signature, or documents addressed to another district, and still detain and torture people.

Prioritising our mental health

Going forward, LGBTI people need to be able to access the right kind of medical care. Our mental health is getting worse every day. We are trapped in a vicious circle where every two weeks, a trans person gets lost, or murdered, or we find out they took their own life. There are very few happy endings. We cannot access our basic human rights.  Thankfully, we have organizations such as Amnesty International Türkiye on our side. They are one of the few organizations ready to listen without having an agenda. Their campaigns have been crucial this year.

We need all the support we can get – it is an incredibly difficult climate for trans people in Türkiye. If you can, please check out Amnesty’s Pride campaigns and send a message to the Minister of Interior in Türkiye, telling them that we demand to use our constitutional rights. We should not be getting detained, tortured and imprisoned for demanding our rights – we deserve to live a safe, happy life, where we can be ourselves.